Back To School

So I go back to school tomorrow, and I’m sitting in my room at home thinking how in just over one month I’ll be done with exams and done with second year. Then there’s only one year left and I’ll have a degree (fingers crossed). What the hell. I’m not ready to be a graduate. I have seriously no idea where the last two years went and final year is only going to go faster again. I don’t know what to do. I could apply for a masters, I could look for a job. Do I even want to be a psychologist? I have no idea anymore. Everything is so confusing. And as ridiculous and immature as it sounds, I’m not ready to leave my friends again. Everything is changing so quickly. I feel like everyone’s growing up around me but I’m not ready to be following a career path yet. There’s so much I still want to do. I want to travel more, see more things and more places. I want to have more nights like tonight, walking around the town at night when everything smells like summer and I laugh until it hurts but can’t remember why later. It’s not that I still want to be a child, I just don’t want to get stuck in a rut. What if I pick the wrong rut? What if I’m heading down the completely wrong path for me? All the decisions I’ve had to make before this seemed much easier, less final. I’m just panicking. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I just don’t want to get older and forget how it feels to just sit outside on a warm night and do nothing, just because I could.